why didn't you poke me back
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
