I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
