i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
