Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
