you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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