Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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