I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
