I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
