so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
