great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
