he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
