the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
