you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
