He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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