i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
