just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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