Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
