Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
