I hate your face
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
