How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
