3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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