you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
