Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
