I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
