i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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