Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
