Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
