You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
