shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
