The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There r osticjed everywhere
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
