You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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