he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
