I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
