only if we run a train.
done.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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