D3 body, D1 cock
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
