Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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