Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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