It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
