Nicole vs. Life
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
