I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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