____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
