btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just gargled with NyQuil
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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