Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
