Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
