so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
