I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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