He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
