Yo dont text me then not text me
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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