How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
