So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
