just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
